Too Stubborn and Reckless For Our Own Good
by BlueSkies23
Summary: What if being brought back to life affected the Doctor more than he let on? After all, there's a reason that Time Lords are only allowed 12 regenerations. One-shot. Slight AU, set at the end of 'Let's Kill Hitler'.


**I should really be working on my other stories right now but the idea for this one shot came into my head a few days ago and hasn't gone away so I figured I'd write it. Ever since I saw 'Let's Kill Hitler', I felt like there was something missing when we didn't at least get to see the Doctor show any pain after dying and being brought back to life, so my brain went into over-drive and not only took that whole dying bit into play but also kind of overanalyzed the situation and made my own kind of AU situation of it. **

**NOTE: I'm ignoring the War Doctor's regeneration, so The Doctor would only have regenerated 11 times as of this fiction (still counting the one that Ten did during Journey's End)**

**Anyway. Enough ranting. I hope you enjoy it! **

**Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who **

The day that they discovered that Mels was actually River, Rory made two mistakes in his eyes.

Mistake number one was not saving the Doctor. Even though he knew that there was nothing that he could have done, he still blamed himself for the moments that the Doctor spent writhing in pain, and especially the moment where the Doctor almost passed into the afterlife. He was a nurse, for god's sake, and he couldn't even save his best friend.

Mistake number two was not saving the Doctor…again.

Ever since the Doctor had woken up after his 'death', something had been off; Rory could tell. His skin was pale and flushed, he was continually stumbling and tripping. However, Rory didn't make the Doctor stop and rest or find the cause of the problem due to his concern over River, who, in fairness, was in a hospital.

Immediately after the leaving the hospital, however, Rory's mind recalled the Doctor's symptoms and recognized that he was still in pain. He turned to look at the Doctor, piloting them out of the hospital and into the Time Vortex before they could fly off to a new adventure, and his nurse instincts kicked in once again. The Doctor squinted at the controls, barely able to see them (probably due to blurred vision, Rory guessed). His hands were shaking so much that at one point he grabbed the hand that was supposed to be pulling down the zig-zag plotter with his other hand to steady it, eventually managing to pull it down. His forehead was nearly dripping with sweat, and as he walked around the room to reach another part of the controls for the TARDIS to take them home, he stumbled and nearly fell. He held himself up by his arms, leaning on the console, his legs failing for cooperate.

"Doctor?" Rory called out, approaching the man in tweed. Amy looked up from her own curious examination of the Time Lord and exchanged concerned looks with Rory. The Doctor attempted to respond, but he ended up gasping for air and groaning. "Doctor-" Rory started again, but didn't finish before he crumpled to the ground like a rag doll.

"Doctor!" Amy screamed, and she ran to his side, immediately putting his head in her lap and stroking his hair. Rory ran over and put his hand at the Doctor's neck to check his pulse; it was racing, much too fast to be healthy. The Doctor groaned again, and his eyes opened for a moment before closing again. "Rory, what's wrong with him?" Amy asked, her eyes filled with fear.

"I…I don't know. I mean, I know he died, but the poison shouldn't be affecting him. River gave him all of her regenerations, it should be out of his system by now." Rory stated, and he began to unbutton the Doctor's shirt in order to check on his hearts. They were both racing, almost as if they were out of control.

"N…n-not the poison th-that's affecting me…" The Doctor whispered, his eyes screwed shut and his fist clenched due to the pain wracking his broken body. "River…"

"Doctor, I don't understand." Rory whispered, leaning in closer to the Time Lord. Amy took the Doctor's hand and rubbed his knuckles, murmuring soft reassurances in his ear.

The Doctor opened his eyes and attempted to turn on his side in order to get up, but Amy shook her head. "No, stop it. You'll just hurt yourself." She held her arm across his chest protectively.

"Have to…have to get River. Old River. She can…h-help." The Doctor broke off his sentence with a cry of pain, squeezing Amy's hand tightly. "Just…let me f-fly her."

"Doctor, you're in no state to pilot the TARDIS right now." Rory ordered, moving his face closer to the Doctor's so all that the Time Lord could see was Rory's stern and worried expression. "You have to calm down. Tell us what's happened to you."

"River…" The Doctor repeated, and he screamed in pain, his body wriggling on the floor and moving on to his side. The hand that wasn't intertwined with Amy's was reaching desperately towards the console, and he gasped for air as the little energy he had left was used to reach out to his ship.

"Breathe, Doctor, breathe." Rory ordered, and Amy began to rub circles on the Doctor's back. "How can we get River here, if she's so important? And what the bloody hell is wrong with you?"

"Phone…" Doctor whispered, his hand still stretched out towards his beloved console. The edges of his vision were going dark, and his breathing was growing more desperate.

Rory jumped up and grabbed the phone, dialing River's number while Amy continued to attempt to calm the Doctor down. "Please, River, pick up…" Rory moaned as the phone continued to ring.

"Doctor?" River replied on the other line. "What is it, what's wrong? You never call me."

"It's Rory, Melody." Rory responded, exchanging worried glances with Amy as the Doctor's gasps grew louder. "Can you come here? Quickly, please. Something's wrong with the Doctor, I-I think he's dying, I don't quite understand-"

"Oh, God," River whispered. "Have you just finished at Berlin? I was told I came back right after, but…I haven't been looking forward to this."

"What is it, River? What's wrong with him?" Rory asked desperately, but the line was disconnected. Rory raced back over to the Doctor and Amy and he leaned down next to the Doctor. "River's on her way." He whispered. "Just…just hold on."

The Doctor looked back at Rory, desperation in his eyes as his erratic breathing continued. He nodded slightly, and he grasped Rory's hand.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light, and River appeared in front of them. "Oh, Sweetie," she whispered brokenly, and approached him. She ran her fingers through his hair, murmuring, "I'm so sorry…God, I'm so sorry. It was stupid of me to give you those regenerations, didn't even think about the effects-"

"Is that what's wrong with him?' Rory interrupted. "The regenerations?"

"There's a reason Time Lords are only allowed twelve regenerations," River explained. "Their bodies can't take more than that. If there's more than twelve regenerations in him at a time, then they counteract- they start killing his cells, cancelling each other out and giving him a kind of regeneration sickness…except this one is deadly if it isn't treated in time."

Amy gripped the Doctor's hand even tighter. "What do we do?" she asked.

"We have to take him to the Sisters of the Infinite Schism. They might be able to stop the process; let out a bit of the extra regeneration energy so his body can stabilize itself." River said, kissing the Doctor's forehead before racing to the console and putting in the coordinates to the Schism. "I'm setting the date for a few years later than where you just were. Wouldn't want to run into past me, now, would we?"

As the TARDIS flew through the Time Vortex, Amy realized that the Doctor's grip on her hand was loosening. "Doctor?" Amy whispered, and she realized that his eyes were closed. "Doctor, wake up."

Rory placed his ear to the Doctor's mouth. "Dammit, he stopped breathing!" Rory shouted. He placed his hands on the Doctor's chest, beginning CPR, but the Doctor coughed and spluttered, a golden mist flowing out of his mouth. He gasped for a moment, and then regained his ability to breathe, although it was still labored.

"What was that?" Rory whispered, looking up at the looks on River and Amy's faces.

"I saw that…when I was little, he did that. Although, he was breathing the whole time. What is it, though?" she asked, directing her question at River.

"Regeneration energy." River replied, her fists still clenched in the horror that the Doctor had almost died. Again. "His body almost gave up on him, but he managed to force some excess regeneration energy out, buying him some more time."

The TARDIS groaned, and Amy looked up. "We've landed. Hold on, you never leave the brakes on, what'd you do that for?" she asked.

"I thought it might help. Hearing her, I mean. It might make the Doctor fight for a bit longer." River whispered as she picked the Doctor up in her arms bridal style, his head pressed against her chest and his legs dangling as she held his gangly form.

They burst out of the TARDIS doors, immediately greeted by the cat nurses. "Please, you've got to help him, he's-" River began, but the nearest nurse cut her off.

"We know, the Doctor called us quite a while ago. Or, I suppose it was in the future for you. He told us of the situation, and we can take care of him. I promise." The nurse responded, and a team quickly arrived, carrying a stretcher.

River delicately laid her husband on the surface, holding his hand for one more moment, rubbing his knuckles. "You're going to be fine. No, wait…" River whispered, the Doctor's entranced gaze looking at her and only her. "You're going to be amazing."

With that, the team took the Doctor into the other room, and the group let out a collected breath that they didn't even know they were holding.

DWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDWDW

The first thing that the Doctor saw when he awoke were the blurry faces of Rory and Amy. He fought to keep his eyes open, and Amy broke into a smile when she saw him waking up. "Hey." she whispered, grabbing his hand.

He smiled back. "Hey." He croaked, his voice rough and sore from not using it while he slept. "What…what's going on?"

"Somebody decided that he wouldn't tell us that his regenerations were literally killing him inside out, so we had to take him to the same hospital we were just at instead of you recovering at the same time as River and not letting the situation get as serious. You moron." She scolded him.

"Mmm…yeah, sounds about right." He whispered, his eyes drooping. River stepped into his eyesight, and he immediately beamed. "Oi. You. C'mere."

River stepped towards him and leaned down, kissing him before he could even say what he wanted to. She meant for it to go for much longer, but after a bit of pushing from the Doctor, she realized that he could barely breathe to begin with and let go.

He gasped for a moment, coughing, and then rolled his eyes. "River Song, you are impossible."

River looked at him wistfully before her eyes clouded. "Doctor, you could have died. Why didn't you say something?"

"I thought I could fight it off. I've gone through regeneration sickness before." He replied, attempting to sit up before Rory protested, holding his arm out in front of his chest and pushing him down. The Doctor sighed and grumbled before complying.

"Not like this. Doctor, you know that this is different. You already died once today; the fact that you didn't admit yourself immediately just for a check-up even if you didn't know you were sick yet makes me furious. You have such a lack of self-preservation, you barely even think about your health until you've collapsed on the floor!" River ranted, glaring at him until he had the sense to look ashamed.

"You were dying, River, I was a bit preoccupied." The Doctor responded.

"Do you have any idea what it would do to me if you died?" River asked. "I would have been fine. You have plenty of opportunities to check on yourself."

"Do you have any idea what it would do to me if _you _died?" The Doctor countered, a brief shiver running through him as he remembered the Library and River's haunting words. "When you're in trouble, my mind is focused on you and only you. I know that it upsets you, but you'd do the same for me. If you died and I wasn't there, I…" he trailed off, and looked back at River.

She sighed and sat down. "Okay. So, we're both too stubborn and reckless for our own good, then." River offered.

"There's the breakthrough of the century." Amy snickered.

The Doctor yawned, and then looked appalled at himself. He was never tired, not ever! Especially since he had only been awake for a few minutes. But he felt his mind shutting down as he attempted to keep his eyes open.

Rory chuckled. "Don't worry, Doctor, we'll be here when you wake up."

The Doctor nodded, and his eyes closed. His soft, contented breathing filled the room.

"How much longer until he's really okay?" Amy asked.

"Maybe a week. He just needs rest, that's all." River replied, running her fingers through her sleeping husband's hair. "Take care of him, will you?"

Amy frowned. "I will. You know that. What's this all about?"

"I think…I'm running out of time with him. Every time I see him, we're doing another one of his firsts. First kiss, first 'catching me out of a spaceship'…soon, I think he'll meet me for the first time. I won't be able to be here to take care of him. So promise me that you'll stay. Please?" River asked, passion written across her face.

Amy nodded. "Of course. But…you know he isn't going to let you leave him without a fight, yeah?"

River looked back at her husband. When he slept, you could see it; the weight of the world on his shoulders, the way it drained him. The weight of his losses. She could almost see how much it hurt him when she mentioned her professor job, or her excavations. It was coming, and she would be leaving him, even if he fought. He would fight as hard as he could, but he would still lose her. It had already happened for him…but time can be rewritten.

So she responded, "I know," and let the subject drop. Even if it meant letting them all get their hopes up for nothing.

**Sorry the end was kind of weird. I wasn't really sure where to end it, so I put in some River stuff to slow the story down to a stop. Anyway, I hope you liked it!**

**(If you're a fan of my other Doctor Who story 'Nightmares', please be aware that I will probably be updating that within the next few months. I have to finish 'To Change the Past', and then I'll begin updating 'Nightmares' again. Thank you for your patience! 3)**


End file.
